Kidnector
( from one tired-of-"fine" dad to you )
Raise a confident kid who can talk to anybody. Starting with you.
I text you one great question a day, at the time you pick. You ask your kid. It takes about a minute.
Today 3:05 PM
( that's it. that's the whole thing. )
No credit card needed.
Try it for 7 days. If you like it, keep it for only $7 a month.
The algorithm gets hours a day. You get "fine."
Me: How was school?
My kid: Good.
Me: Did you have a good day?
My kid: Yes.
Me: What did you do?
My kid: Nothing.
( I see you. That was my car too. )
5 hours 33 minutes.
Entertainment screen time a day for kids 8 to 12. Schoolwork not included.[1]
Nearly 4 in 10.
Kids ages 8 to 12 who have already used social media. The apps say you have to be 13.[1]
3.5 hours.
What the average 8th and 10th grader spends on social media a day.[1]
I believe social media algorithms are going after our kids, and I believe it is costing them the ability to talk to each other. That is a real problem.
Nobody is coming to save them.
The apps?
In August 2026, Meta agreed to pay up to $17.1 billion to settle claims from 51 attorneys general that Instagram and Facebook were built to hook kids. Meta denied the claims and did not admit any wrongdoing. The fix for kids under 18? A default limit of two hours a day on Facebook and Instagram. Two hours.[2]
The experts?
The U.S. Surgeon General's advisory says teens who spend more than 3 hours a day on social media face about double the risk of anxiety and depression symptoms. The same advisory says we do not yet know that social media is safe for kids.[3]
The school?
They have your kid for the day. They do not have a quiet minute in the car with them. You do.
That leaves you. And here is the good news... you are the one thing that works.
The Surgeon General again: "the most important thing a child needs to be resilient is a stable and committed relationship with a supportive adult." That adult is you.[4]
The future belongs to kids who can talk.
I believe the future is going to go to the kids who know how to talk with other people. The ones who can lead. The ones who are comfortable with themselves and can work through what they feel.
Social media puts the weight in the wrong direction on every one of those.
So ask yourself... do you want a kid who thinks they can? Or a kid who thinks they can't?
"Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts."
Our mission at Kidnections is to improve the self-talk of the next generation.
What your kid gets
Every question is a little practice at one of these. Here is what the research says about why each one matters.
They open up.
"How was your day?" is too big to answer. A small, specific question gives a kid something to grab. A pediatric psychologist at Children's Health puts it this way: "kids don't often conceptualize their day as a whole."[6]
They learn to name what they feel.
Across 15 randomized trials, when parents learned to talk with young kids about feelings, the kids' emotional skills improved.[7]
They get along better with other kids.
A review covering more than 5,000 children found that kids who understand emotions do better socially.[8]
They build a voice that says "I can figure this out."
In a study of 212 kids in grades 4 to 6, the ones who doubted themselves scored better on a math test after quietly telling themselves "I will do my very best."[9]
They handle hard days better.
Researchers in New Zealand coached moms to ask their toddlers open ended questions. Years later, at around age 11, those kids were better at making sense of hard times.[10]
You stay the person they tell.
In a study of 703 fourteen year olds, what parents knew about their teens came mostly from what the teens chose to tell them. Not from tracking. Not from rules. I believe the telling starts now.[11]
Straight talk: nobody has run a study on a text message with a question in it, so I can't hand you a number for THIS. What I can tell you is that everything a good question leads to is about as well supported as anything in parenting.
What you get
- One great question a day, texted to YOUR phone, at the time you pick
- More than "fine"
- Conversations you never would have had otherwise
- Zero prep. I already spent the hours researching the questions.
- Follow-up questions right in the text, for the days your kid just shrugs
- Questions written for your kid's age: 5 to 7, 8 to 11, 12 to 14, or 15 and up
- No app. No login. Nothing for your kid to download.
- Not feeling today's question? Text back SKIP. Schedule changed? Text TIME 6:30PM. Away for a week? Text PAUSE 7. Done? Text STOP.
No credit card needed.
The big conversations, through the side door
You know the talks you are supposed to have. You also know what happens when you sit a kid down for one. "I knoooow, Mom."
So the questions get you there through the side door. Your kid thinks it is a fun question. You end up in the conversation you wanted to have anyway.
Mistake Permission.
Looks like a funny question about something that went wrong. It is really the talk about failing and getting back up.
The Identity Firewall.
A question about what makes them, them. You will be glad you had it the day somebody at school tries to tell them who they are.
The Purple People Eater Rule.
The best thing I know to teach a kid about name calling. (Stay with me.) Do not be surprised if they quote it back to you.
The Bully Mirror.
A question about why somebody might act mean. No names. No "is someone bothering you?" You will learn more from the answer than you would from asking straight out.
These are mixed in with plenty of silly ones, on purpose. If every question felt important, your kid would figure out the game by Wednesday.
How this started
I got tired of the one word answers. "Good." "Fine." "Yes." "No."
I want my kids to know how to communicate. I want them to be able to work through their feelings, make friends, and have the confidence to be fully capable people when they leave the nest.
- So I started researching open questions.
- I filled a giant notebook with them.
- I read them right before I went to pick up my kids.
- And lo and behold... we started having conversations about things we never would have talked about.
- Their confidence grew too, right along with the free 9-Day Mindset Makeover we do every morning.
( this is me shortcutting all of that for you )
The hard part is the habit. So I made it automatic.
66 days.That is how long it typically took a new daily habit to feel automatic in a University College London study. Not 21.[12]
- My notebook only worked on the days I remembered it. A text shows up on its own.
- Habit researchers say the easiest way to build a habit is to attach it to something you already do. A car ride. Dinner. Bedtime.[12]
- Miss a day? The same study found that missing a day did not undo the habit. The next text is coming tomorrow anyway.[12]
Pick your time to KIDNECT
Only you know your day. When do you actually have time with your kid? You choose the time. I send the text.
- Tell me how old your kid is.The questions are different for each age.
- Pick your time to connect.At my house it is after school pickup. The ride TO school works. Dinner works. Bedtime works.
- Read it out loud. Then listen.(Hear it before you fix it.)
Here is a taste of week one for a 6 year old:
Monday 3:05 PM
Car ride question for Ava: If our car had a superpower, what should it be?
Tuesday 3:05 PM
Car ride question for Ava: Would you rather have a tail or wings?
Wednesday 3:05 PM
Car ride question for Ava: What would happen if it snowed jelly beans?
Week one is the easiest, silliest week of the year, on purpose. I want your kid to LIKE this. The rest show up on your phone.
Every day you wait, it gets harder.
Someday your kid is going to be 14 and something is going to go really wrong.
In that moment they are going to decide, in about two seconds, whether you are a person they tell.
You do not build that in the moment. I believe you build it now... one small, silly, low stakes question at a time, until talking to you is just what they do.
Nobody is coming to do this for you. It takes about a minute.
No credit card needed.
Try it for 7 days. If you like it, keep it for only $7 a month. Reply STOP any time.
Make it a great day!
Aaron "Tail or wings?" Englert
Chief Kidnector
P.S. Try it tonight, even before you sign up. Skip "How was your day?" and ask "What is something cool you can do that most people don't know about?" I bet you get more than "fine."
FAQ
What ages is this for?
Kids 5 and up, in four sets: 5 to 7, 8 to 11, 12 to 14, and 15 and up.
My kid will just say "I don't know."
Some days, yep. That is what SKIP is for. It is also why the questions are small and specific on purpose.
Is this more screen time?
It is a text to YOUR phone that takes ten seconds to read. Then the phone goes down and you talk to your kid.
We don't do a car ride.
Pick any time from 5:00 in the morning to 9:30 at night. The question does not care where you ask it.
I have two kids.
For now it is one age group per phone number. Pick the one that fits best. (Two kids on one number is on my list.)
What do you do with my kid's information?
We ask for a first name and an age range so the text sounds right. That's all. Your kid never signs up for anything and never hears from us.
How many texts will I get?
One a day at the time you choose, plus a welcome text, a couple of reminders near the end of your free week, and replies when you text us a command. Message and data rates may apply.
How do I stop?
Reply STOP. For help reply HELP or email monica@kidnector.com.
Is this US only?
Yes, for now.
Footnotes
- [1] Common Sense Census: Media Use by Tweens and Teens, 2021 (5:33 a day, ages 8 to 12, entertainment screen media, schoolwork excluded; mostly TV, video and gaming, not social media). U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on Social Media and Youth Mental Health, 2023 ("nearly 40% of children ages 8-12 use social media"; "As of 2021, 8th and 10th graders now spend an average of 3.5 hours per day on social media").
- [2] New York Attorney General press release, August 26, 2026: up to $17.1 billion over 10 years, 51 attorneys general in all, and a default two hour daily limit on Facebook and Instagram for accounts under 18. Hunton privacy law blog: "Meta denied the allegations and did not admit liability or wrongdoing."
- [3] U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory, 2023: "adolescents who spent more than 3 hours per day on social media faced double the risk of experiencing poor mental health outcomes including symptoms of depression and anxiety" (from Riehm et al., JAMA Psychiatry, 2019; 6,595 U.S. adolescents ages 12 to 15; observational, so linked to, never causes). Same advisory: "robust independent safety analyses on the impact of social media on youth have not yet been conducted."
- [4] U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory, Protecting Youth Mental Health, 2021.
- [5] Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5.16, translated by Gregory Hays (Modern Library, 2002). Public domain alternative (George Long): "the soul is dyed by the thoughts."
- [6] Children's Health, "How to ask kids about their day," Dr. Stevie Puckett-Perez. Expert guidance, not a study.
- [7] England-Mason et al., Clinical Psychology Review, 2023: 15 randomized trials, parents of children 18 months to 6 years. Multi week parenting programs, not single questions.
- [8] Trentacosta and Fine, Social Development, 2010: 63 samples, N = 5,135.
- [9] Thomaes et al., Child Development, 2020. 212 children, grades 4 to 6. The benefit was for children with negative beliefs about their ability.
- [10] Reese and Newcombe, Child Development, 2007; follow ups 2020 (about age 11) and 2022 (age 15). The coaching happened in the toddler years.
- [11] Stattin and Kerr, Child Development, 2000 (703 fourteen year olds). The link from talking at 7 to telling you things at 14 is not proven, which is why the close says I believe.
- [12] Lally et al., European Journal of Social Psychology, 2010 (96 adults; median 66 days, range 18 to 254; a missed day did not materially affect habit formation). Gardner, Lally and Wardle, 2012, on anchoring a habit to an existing routine.